Call Us At 519.672.5666
Insights & Articles
The Hidden Risks of Do-It-Yourself Separation Agreements
This article was originally published in Guelph Today and can be found here.
When couples decide to part ways, one of the most important steps they can take to safeguard their future is creating a separation agreement. This legally binding contract provides structure and clarity during an emotionally and financially difficult time, outlining each person’s rights and responsibilities on key issues such as parenting, support, and property division.
Some couples try to save money by preparing a “kitchen table agreement” without professional help. Without legal guidance, however, they risk overlooking crucial details and exposing themselves to pitfalls that surface months—or even years—later. These are the hidden risks of do-it-yourself (DIY) separation agreements.
Decisions that matter most
Where children are involved, one of the most important components of a separation agreement is the parenting plan. This section establishes a clear parenting schedule and sets out how major decisions will be made regarding the child’s education, health, extracurriculars, and overall wellbeing.
A strong parenting plan also covers the everyday details that can easily become points of conflict if left undefined, such as how holidays and school breaks are shared, how new activities are approved, how parents communicate, and how disagreements are resolved. Defining these expectations early and within the agreement itself reduces conflict and promotes stability, providing parents and children with a sense of predictability and security.
Kayla Gordon, Family Lawyer at McKenzie Lake Lawyers in Guelph, explains:
“Even when parents agree on the big picture at the outset of a separation, the realities of co-parenting often reveal challenges they didn’t anticipate. DIY agreements often overlook those details, leaving parents unsure how to handle new situations or disputes as they arise. We help clients think through those ‘what ifs’—from scheduling conflicts to communication styles—so their parenting plan is realistic, child-focused, and built to last. Our goal is to help families move forward with clarity and confidence while avoiding the stress and cost of constant renegotiation. Investing in a comprehensive plan from the start saves families far more—both financially and emotionally—than it costs.”
Finances can’t be overlooked
A lawyer-prepared separation agreement ensures that key financial obligations—child support, spousal support, and property division—are handled correctly and in accordance with the law. It also ensures that all assets and debts are properly accounted for, reducing the risk of missed entitlements or costly disputes later.
Child and spousal support are two of the most commonly misunderstood areas. Many people don’t realize that child support is the “right of the child”, and any agreement attempting to negotiate around that entitlement can be challenged and set aside. Couples drafting their own agreements often omit spousal support entirely or address it too generally—for example, leaving out an enforceable waiver or failing to define the amount, duration, or conditions of support. Gaps like these can lead to unexpected claims years after separation, including significant retroactive support obligations or back payments.
Property division also requires precision. Disputes frequently arise over real estate, business interests, pensions, and other valuable assets. Overlooking even one asset—such as a pension—can derail retirement planning or lead to significant claims years later. With professional guidance, every asset is properly identified, valued, and addressed at separation, protecting both parties’ long-term financial stability.
Family Lawyer, Nicole Kucherenko, notes that financial terms are where expert guidance makes the greatest difference:
“Financial terms are often the part that causes the most trouble when people try to do it themselves. We take a proactive approach, guiding clients through the details that are easy to miss but critical to get right: properly valuing assets, addressing tax and timing implications, ensuring complete disclosure, and navigating limitation periods and other legal deadlines that, if overlooked, can quietly extinguish rights. The goal is always the same—to create an agreement that’s fair, durable, and truly protects both parties for years to come.”
Pitfalls of DIY separation agreements
Many people assume they can save money by preparing their own separation agreement. However, as Family Lawyer Nicole Kucherenko cautions, skipping legal advice at the drafting stage often creates problems that can’t easily be fixed later. In these circumstances, what appears to be a “final” settlement can later unravel—forcing both parties into legal proceedings that are more complicated and costly than those they hoped to avoid. Kucherenko explains:
“There are formal legal requirements in Ontario for a separation agreement to be valid. We’ve seen clients come to us years later, relying on agreements they believed were legally binding—only to find out they’re not. Courts also look at whether each party received independent legal advice and entered the agreement voluntarily, without pressure or duress, and with a full understanding of the terms. With DIY agreements, those safeguards are often missing or unapparent, leaving the agreement vulnerable to being set aside regardless of how well-intentioned it may have been.”
Legal advice goes far beyond drafting—it’s about ensuring the agreement will stand up if tested. Family lawyers help clients understand their rights, identify red flags, and ensure the negotiation process is well-informed, transparent, and fair. Investing in advice at the outset can save you from the far greater costs associated with trying to fix—or being stuck with—a bad agreement down the road.
Financial transparency matters
One of the most common mistakes in DIY separation agreements is failing to exchange full financial disclosure. Even the most carefully worded agreement can be set aside if either party has not disclosed all assets, liabilities, or sources of income. Without this transparency, courts are more likely to intervene and reopen financial issues.
Kayla Gordon explains: “Disclosure is the foundation of any valid separation agreement. When one or both parties skip it—or don’t know how to do it properly—it puts the entire agreement at risk. We often meet clients who thought they were saving time or avoiding conflict by keeping things informal. Our role is to take the pressure out of that process: we help organize, verify, and document every financial detail so nothing is missed or misunderstood. It’s not just a legal requirement—it’s what gives both parties confidence that the outcome is fair and will hold up over time.”
Why you need a lawyer
In today’s economic climate, clarity and stability are more important than ever. Having an experienced lawyer prepare your separation agreement ensures that every financial, parenting, and property issue is addressed with precision and foresight. A properly drafted agreement doesn’t just reflect your current intentions—it anticipates future challenges and prevents them from turning into costly disputes. This proactive approach protects both parties from unforeseen complications, legal uncertainty, and unnecessary expense.
Family Lawyers Kayla Gordon and Nicole Kucherenko at McKenzie Lake Lawyers are compassionate, settlement-focused professionals who help clients find practical, lasting solutions. Their agreements are designed not only to meet legal requirements but to promote fairness, reduce conflict, and provide a clear framework for moving forward.
“Separation is one of the most overwhelming experiences a person can face,” says Gordon. “Our job is to bring calm and structure to what feels chaotic. We take the time to understand what matters most to each client and guide them through every decision with care and transparency. It’s not just about drafting documents—it’s about protecting our clients’ rights, bringing clarity to their complex situations, and helping them move into the next chapter of their lives with confidence and peace of mind.”
When you should contact a lawyer
It’s best to consult a lawyer early—before discussing or agreeing to any financial or parenting arrangements with your spouse. Early guidance ensures you fully understand your rights and obligations before making decisions that could have lasting legal and financial consequences.
Many clients reach out even while only considering separation, to gain clarity and explore their options. Most commonly, clients seek assistance immediately or shortly after separating. Less frequently, family lawyers are retained to review existing separation agreements—to assess their validity or enforceability, and determine whether they can or should be updated, varied, or set aside.
While early consultation is ideal, it’s never too late to seek support.
“As family lawyers, we see the full spectrum,” says Kayla Gordon. “Some clients come to us right at the start, which allows us to plan carefully and avoid problems before they arise. Others reach out years after separating—sometimes because they never formalized their arrangements, and other times because an existing agreement isn’t working or wasn’t drafted to stand the test of time. The key is to act before legal deadlines—called limitation periods—make certain issues harder or even impossible to revisit. Our role is to help clients understand their options and take timely, informed steps to protect their future.”
Whether you’re contemplating, preparing for, or already navigating a separation, reaching out to experienced family lawyers like Kayla Gordon and Nicole Kucherenko is the most reliable way to protect your interests and reduce risk. With compassion and practical insight, they help clients move forward with clarity, confidence, and a secure foundation for the future.
Contact Kayla Gordon and Nicole Kucherenko at McKenzie Lake Lawyers at (519) 826-4333 or by email at kayla.gordon@mckenzielake.com and nicole.kucherenko@mckenzielake.com. The McKenzie Lake Guelph Office is located at 100 Stone Road West, Suite 300, Guelph, ON N1G 5L3.
